


Crimson Red

by teddybagwell



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Caught, Gay, Gay Sex, Love, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Porn, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2020-10-06 17:41:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20510927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teddybagwell/pseuds/teddybagwell
Summary: Arriving home from jazz club, the last thing Howard expects to see is Vince getting off in the living room.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi! you wouldn't believe how long I've been attempting to write this. I've started and stopped so many things over the last few months but hopefully, I can get back into the swing of it! 
> 
> I don't know if I've just read over this too much but I can't tell if it's actually any good lmao but I hope you all enjoy! comments are always lovely to read <3

The flat was empty; jazz club had been moved to a different location, and Naboo and Bollo had since left to attend some Shaman business, what it was exactly Vince stopped asking long ago. 

Vince had a good few hours to himself and he only had one thing on his mind, not that his intended plans would take hours, more like minutes. 

For the occasion Vince had recovered the DVD buried under his bed; the one he kept hidden expertly, the one that only came out on nights like these. 

Sitting on the couch, the tips of his fingers slid down his stomach, the material of his shirt felt soft on his skin. He unbuttoned the drainpipes clinging to his legs before tugging them down, not bothering to free himself completely. 

He caressed himself through the material of his boxers, letting out a sigh. He resisted the urge to yank them down and wank himself off until he came; he was determined to savour it. 

The DVD started playing and Vince felt the warmth spread in his stomach. So many nights he'd had to get himself off using his imagination alone, building up to mediocre orgasms that would only just satisfy him. 

Vince wasn't quite sure when or where he'd bought the DVD, he assumed it had been on one of his drunken stumbles through town on his way home, nevertheless, he was truly grateful for it, wherever it came from. 

Two men fumbled around onscreen. One man, slender and almost boney in places. The other was taller and had more weight to him, and was clearly in control. Vince let out the softest of whimpers. He never stopped working on his growing erection through his boxers, but eventually grew tired of the lack of friction.

He squirted the bottle of lube and it pooled in his palm, the cool sensation ran through his veins. Dragging his boxers down with one hand, his heart stammered in his chest as he filled to the brim with anticipation.

His fingers wrapped around his length just like they had done so many times before, and like every other time, his body momentarily relaxed before his stomach clenched. 

'Fuck,' he whispered, watching intently as clothes began to be discarded on screen. He had to remind himself to take his time; he had all the time in the world. 

‘You’re so hot,’ the smaller man whispered as his hands roamed the body above him. ‘You gonna fuck me?’

‘If you’re lucky,’ the taller man rasped, pressing his naked body against the other. ‘I want you on your knees.’

Vince choked out a whimper, his head falling back against the couch, hair splaying across the material. 

‘Stroke your cock for me, slowly.’ 

Vince took his time pumping himself with his fist, eyes closed and merely listening to the voices on the DVD. If he tried hard enough, he could imagine he was there, wanking off next to two men getting off with each other. A shiver shot up his spine, like a gust of wind had come out of nowhere. 

Turns out, there had been a gust of wind, but it hadn’t miraculously appeared. 

Howard entered through the shop downstairs, feeling satisfied after a fulfilling few hours discussing the profound topic of jazz with his close friend Lester Corncrake. All he needed now was a hot cup of tea before heading off to bed. 

Muffled voices became clearer as he ascended the stairs and before even catching a glimpse at the TV, Howard knew exactly who those voices belonged to. He'd heard them too many times before, they were ingrained in his mind. His cheeks shimmered dark red instantly as he stood a few steps from the top. 

'C'mon, take it like a good boy.'

Vince had probably been rummaging through his room again and come across the DVD, thinking it would be funny to take the piss out of Howard along with Naboo and Bollo. Howard took a deep breath, readying himself for the flying jokes and insults bound to come his way. 

At the top of the stairs, Howard couldn’t see Naboo or Bollo, only Vince. He couldn’t hear any talking, and he was bound to if the shaman and his familiar were around. No, Vince was alone, his head resting back against the couch.

He swallowed hard; the DVD was indeed playing, just as he’d guessed. But there was no laughter, not as far as he could tell. 

Soft hums erupted into the air, coming from Vince's exact spot. Howard's cheeks burned impossibly bright when the realisation hit him.

'Oh.. fuck,' the familiar voice sent Howard's brain into overdrive. 'Mm.' 

The exposed men on the TV were going at it, and Vince appeared to be enjoying it, Howard thought, listening to the short but sweet moans he allowed to leave his throat.

Vince thought he was alone, he was happily wanking off in their living room without a care in the world, and Howard despised himself for feeling a familiar tightness in his aggressive nutmeg corduroy trousers.

The smaller man on the screen was being penetrated relentlessly, every noise imaginable coming from the TV, meanwhile, Vince threw his head back once more, mouth opening to form an 'O' shape. 

Howard could only imagine the intense pleasure he was feeling as he jerked his cock to the filth playing before him.

'Do you like that, my cock in your ass?' 

'M-mhm,' Vince whimpered, a sound Howard was hearing for the first time, he most certainly didn't want it to be the last. 

Even from behind, Howard could tell Vince's movements were becoming more erratic with each minute that passed, and he waited in anticipation. 

He knew he shouldn't. He knew he should creep back downstairs, wait ten minutes and try again to save his dear friend the embarrassment, but he simply couldn't.

With the men on-screen letting out various noises, Vince fell apart. The intensity of Vince's moans escalated all of a sudden, and Howard watched with lust as his best friend writhed as he made himself come. 

'Oh shit, oh shit, fuck,' Vince whined, head lolling to the side as the warmth in his stomach become unbearable. 'Please. Fuck.'

Heat surrounded Howard, it was unbearable. Quietly making his way down the stairs, hearing the finale of Vince's orgasm, he took a deep breath; wanting nothing more than to disappear. 

Those soft, almost pleading whimpers rang in his ears, he could only imagine the gently look on Vince's face as he stroked himself towards climax. The bulge in his trousers refused to settle, Howard knew he wouldn't be heading straight to bed.

Once he'd forced himself calm and collected, Howard jogged up the stairs, hoping Vince would hear him coming and sort himself out before he reached the final step. 

'Anyone home?' he shouted, seeing Vince's head snap in his direction. The TV was now switched off, and Vince only looked slightly alarmed at Howard's sudden entrance. 

'Awright?' Vince nodded, 'How was jazz club?' Vince asked, and Howard knew he didn't care.

'You certainly missed a fun yet remarkably educational few hours, yes sir,' Howard beamed, pulling his tweed jacket off his shoulders.

'Shame,' Vince sighed, clambering up from the couch. 'Y'fancy watchin' a film or somethin'?

Vince looked an absolute wreck. Pink decorated his cheeks, his hair sitting in a slightly different way; more rumpled than usual. His lips were plump, as though they'd been chewed relentlessly. Howard bit back a moan wanting to escape his throat. 

'Should probably head to bed,' he replied quickly. 'Early to bed, early to rise, Vince.' He edged towards the bedroom, incredibly aware of the tent in his trousers. 

'Y'know you could've just told me you're goin' to 'ave a wank over me, right?' Vince grinned, eyes never leaving Howard as he blushed crimson red.


	2. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mysterious porn DVD goes missing but Howard and Vince end up putting it to good use!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! here's a part two to Crimson Red that I finally finished after starting it ages ago, it's a long one so I hope you all enjoy! lemme know what you think <3

Vince raked through the bits and bobs under his bed, becoming frantic as time went by. It'd been far too long since he'd seen the DVD, and the overwhelming thoughts of where it might have ended up sent him into a fit of panic.

Howard would be coming upstairs within the next few minutes, as soon as he'd finished double-checking the locks on the doors of the Nabootique, and checking a third 'for good measure'. Vince had limited time on his hunt. 

Running a hand through his thick hair, Vince sat back on his knees, silently praying it would appear in front of him. He wondered if Naboo had something that would tell him where he'd lost it when Howard walked into their bedroom.

'What are you doing?' he asked, noticing the unusual expression on his face. 

'Nothin,' Vince replied, staring around him absent-mindedly. 'Gonna jump in the shower.'

Vince didn't give a second glance before he dashed out of the room. The bathroom door slammed shut, echoing through the flat.

Howard began fumbling through drawers, cupboards, under his mattress, anywhere that could fit a DVD. He swallowed the guilt as he moved over to Vince's side of the room, doing a similar search. 

Since his exposure to Vince getting off to his DVD, Howard hadn't seen it. Vince must have claimed it as his own and hidden it somewhere. It played on his mind, he didn't understand why Vince would happily watch it and not choose to ridicule Howard instead.

Eyeing the door, Howard crept over to Vince's side of the room, already noticing signs of previous rummaging; drawers left open, random magazines and accessories strewn across the floor. Howard assumed Vince had been looking for a specific scarf or necklace that only belonged with a certain outfit. 

Howard Moon wasn't one to lose his things, he was organised and neat with his belongings. Stationary Village was a prime example of the system he had, and something as squalid as a porn DVD shouldn't have left Howard's sight.

The water was running in the other room, meaning Howard had a good half an hour before Vince was due to leave the bathroom. 

No matter how much he looked, the DVD was nowhere to be found in Vince's side of the room. For some reason he couldn't understand, Howard kept looking; wondering if he just kept at it, it would appear. He went down on his hands and knees, inspecting underneath the bed.

'What you doin?' Vince's voice boomed from behind him. Howard peered over his shoulder to see Vince with a towel hanging loosely around his hips and another standing tall on his head. 

Straightening his back, Howard willed himself not to glance down at the glistening skin of his stomach, being eye level with it causing him great difficulty.

'Uh, nothing, nothing. Nothing important,' Howard muttered, rising to his feet.

''Ave you gone wrong?' Vince remarked, grabbing clothes to change into and heading back out of the room. 

☼☼☼☼

'Seriously, Howard, are you 'aving a brain snap?' Vince asked, climbing up the stairs to find Howard tearing through the couch. 'What you doing this time?'

'Never you mind that, little man,' Howard said, placing the cushions back to their original positions. 'Where have you been, it's almost midnight.'

'What you lookin' for?' Vince asked, throwing his scarf onto the side of the couch. 

'What was it this time, a giant bird came down and threatened you with a bazooka? Did you fall down a manhole and befriend a family of rattlesnakes?'

'Why are you avoiding the question?' Vince frowned, hands resting on his hips. 

'Why are you so concerned?'

''Cause every time I see you, you're turning the place upside down!' Vince exclaimed, falling down onto the couch next to Howard. Their elbows grazed.

'Don't think I haven't seen your little forages when you think I’m not looking,’ Howard mentioned, eyes darting around Vince’s face.

'Jus' tell me what y'lookin' for, maybe I can help!' 

'It's just a film, okay? Haven't been able to find it in a while and fancy giving it a watch,' Howard shrugged, aware of Vince eyeing him carefully.

'What film?' 

'It doesn't matter, okay? Come on, what have you been up to then?' 

'Lookin' for somethin' too,' Vince mumbled, chewing his bottom lip. 

'What?' Howard questioned. 'Vince?' he added when he got no reply.

'Just a.. film,' Vince said. 

'There's no need to mock, little man.'

'I ain't mocking, I can't seem to find my DVD!' 

Howard's head spun. He tried to feel reassured by the part of him that was certain they couldn't be in search of the same film.

☼☼☼☼

'I'm telling you, that porno was mine,' Vince argued. 

'It was a tasteful piece on the human body, and it was not,' Howard insisted.

'Really.' Vince eyed him. 'I wouldn't call two men bummin' and suckin' each other off tasteful.'

'Well, you're not me, are you, Vince? Just keep looking,' he sighed, checking under the couch for the fiftieth time.

They looked and looked, or Howard looked while Vince took hour-long breaks to fix his hair. 

'Howard... Howard... Howard?' Vince eyed him, watching as he carried on searching through the cupboards. 'Howard?'

'You better have found it,' he replied blankly. 

'Maybe we should ask Naboo, he'll know what to do.'

'And tell him what?' he asked. 'Alright, Naboo, fancy using your shaman ways to help us find a filthy DVD? No, thank you sir' he added. 

'So it is a porno?' Vince grinned childishly. 'Look, I'll tell 'im it's mine, it'll be fine!' 

Howard complied in the end, deciding they were never going to find it without any outside - and shamanistic - help. 

'Got a bad feeling about this,' Bollo muttered as Vince entered the room, Howard hot on his tail.

'Awright, Naboo, how's it going?' 

'What do you need?' Naboo asked, taking a drag from his hookah. 

'Well, funny story actually, sorta lost a DVD,' Vince started. 'I was wonderin' if you'd be able to use your magic to 'elp me find it.'

'Why can't you just look for it?' the shaman asked.

'We- I 'ave! Looked everywhere! I'm thinkin' it's grown legs and ran off.' 

Naboo sighed. 'What is it?'

'Just, uh, just a porno,' Vince smiled, a hand ruffling through his hair.

Naboo performed his shaman magic, uttering unintelligible chants as Vince and Howard watched from the other side of the room. A gust of wind stormed its way through the room followed by the DVD falling through the ceiling, landing at Vince's feet. 

'Cheers, Naboo!' Vince gleamed. 

'You could've just asked me yourself, Howard,' Naboo commented.

☼☼☼☼

Howard’s heart raced faster than ever. If someone had told him when he'd shamefully snook the porn DVD up to the counter months ago that he'd be sat inches away from his best friend and seconds away from watching it with him, he'd have informed them on the wickedness of lying.

He watched as Vince popped the disc in, and continued to watch as he sat beside him. He pulled his shirt over his head, discarding it carelessly on the floor. 

Sitting still, Howard couldn't work out how he'd ended up in the current situation. These sort of things just didn't happen to Howard Moon.

‘You look like y’gonna pass out, Howard, you awright?’ Vince asked, his fingers trailing across the hem of his black drainpipes. 

‘I, I don’t usually do this type of thing, alright? This is new territory for me,’ Howard's voice shook.

‘And you think I do? I’m not exactly accustomed to wankin’ off with other men, y’know,' Vince replied. 'But it's part of the fun, y'know?'

'Is it?' 

'Yeah! Never would've found out I like being handcuffed if I didn't try, would I?'

The film started, Howard was sure he was seconds away from a stroke. 

Vince, on the other hand, stroked himself through the material of his jeans, head resting against the back of the couch as though he was simply watching afternoon TV. He was too relaxed for Howard’s liking.

‘Just get your cock out, Howard. What’s the worst that could ‘appen?’ 

The two men kissed on screen and despite having seen it a thousand times, Howard struggled to look away. It was too intoxicating. 

The quietest of noises came from beside him, causing him to look over at Vince. Whether he knew he was being watched, Howard didn’t know, but his eyes never left the TV; Howard hadn’t seen him look at something so intensely since he’d spotted a pair of boots in the window of Topshop.

‘The porn’s on the TV, Howard,’ Vince rasped.

Howard silently disagreed. Vince was far too intoxicating in an aroused state, Howard wanted to watch him forever. The way his tongue darted around; across his bottom lip, pressing against the inside of his cheek. Howard felt a stir in his stomach. 

And yet, he couldn't seem to muster up the energy to touch himself. All he could do was flick between the TV and his best friend experiencing immense pleasure beside him.

On the TV, the taller man of the two was stroking the other through his trousers with calloused hands. Howard’s hardening cock yearned for any sort of attention, the sort of thing Howard wasn't willing to give it just yet.

The wind was truly knocked out of him, never in his life had he experienced such a blow to the stomach than when Vince reached over and pressed a flattened palm to the front of Howard’s trousers while he merely took in the sight of those slender fingers so close to where he needed it most. 

‘W-what-‘

‘Well y’clearly ain’t gonna get far without my help,’ Vince said, glancing over at Howard with a grin before shifting them to the TV. 

Howard wanted it to stop and carry on all at once. He wanted the best of both worlds. Vince’s touch was making him harder by the minute and he wasn't sure how long he’d last.

After five minutes, Vince took his hand away and an involuntary whimper escaped Howard’s throat, smearing a smug grin across his face.

‘Always imagined you as a top, Howard, can’t be whimpering like that if you don’t like getting bummed,’ he laughed whilst Howard turned red.

It got Howard thinking about what Vince was into; he clearly wasn't against the idea of getting off with men.

Howard cleared his throat. ‘What are.. what are you into?’ 

‘You’ll have to wait ‘till I get going and see if I start whining like a little bitch,’ Vince spoke as though it was nothing, having no idea what those words did to Howard.

Hoping he wouldn't notice, Howard - as discreetly as humanly possible - starting rubbing himself through the thick material of his trousers; the desire burning too hot in his stomach to resist.

Vince tugged at his drainpipes, taking his boxers along with them. Howard took in the sight of him with deep shame. He'd only had fleeting, remorseful thoughts about Vince but the reality was still nothing like he imagined.

'C'mon, Howard, get involved,' Vince said, stroking himself steadily. 

With a heavy sigh and long contemplation, Howard tugged the corduroy trousers down his legs. He was in too far to turn back now, but he was taking it one article of clothing at a time.

Gentle moans came from his left, only making Howard ache even more. He rubbed his cock through his underwear, the mere presence of Vince while he stroked himself proving too much. 

On-screen, the video Howard had watched a million times was roughly ten minutes in; the two men were fumbling around, hot sloppy kisses being planted here, there and everywhere. Howard didn't know where to look.

'Oh my God,' Vince whispered, by his facial expressions Howard thought he must be in heaven. 'Fuck.'

Howard watched his mouth fall open, all wet and pink and oh-so-hypnotising. He couldn't help but imagine them wrapped around his-

His eyes fluttered open, catching Howard in the act. His lips curled up into a cheeky grin and Howard died on the spot. 

'Oh,' the taller man on the TV was thrusting his cock into the smaller man's mouth, his hands resting on the back of his head. 'Don't stop.'

He couldn't resist it any longer, there was too much happening around him. He was sure he'd combust if his cock didn't get the satisfaction in a matter of seconds.

Every motion he tried to accomplish without Vince seeing. His eyes never abandoned the TV, but maybe he was trying to be polite and did see Howard wiggling out of his underwear. 

'You awright?' Vince breathed heavily, finally turning his eyes away from the screen long enough to look at Howard, and Howard couldn't avoid catching sight of the precum leaking down the side of his cock even if he tried.

'Mhm,' he hummed. Stroking himself slowly, the hot pleasure pulsing through his veins. 'Y-you?'

'This is genius,' Vince smiled, looking pornographic with his hair all askew from dragging his hands through it so often. There was a slight shine to his skin that sent a shudder through Howard's body.

'You ever tried edging?' he asked, licking his lips.

'W-what's that?' 

'S'where you get yourself right to the edge, where you're seconds away from coming, and you stop,' Vince grinned, taking his hand away from his length. 

'What? What's the point in that?' he frowned, feeling the electricity building and desperately wanting to chase it.

'It's well worth it, makes your orgasm ten times better.' Vince started to jerk himself once again and let out a harsh gasp. 'Oh, fuck.' 

The room was getting smaller, Howard was convinced. It seemed as though their elbows were brushing against each other more and more frequently, becoming harder to ignore. Howard struggled to catch his breath.

'O-oh,' he mumbled, his jerking picking up speed, hungry for release. 

The moans on the TV and between the two of them grew vulgar. The men on the TV were crashing into each other, their voiced pleasure echoing through the room, high whimpers clashing with deep, guttural moans. 

'Oh, fuck,' Vince choked, his back arching off the couch. 'I wanna come.'

There were a thousand things Howard wanted to say in response but the heat rising through his body mixed with the anxiety caused him to only moan in response.

'Shit,' he grunted, watching as the taller man pounded into the other mercilessly, his vision blurred. 

'Fuck, fuck,' Vince whimpered, his hips thrusting up into his hand. 'Oh, H-Howard, fuck..' 

White-hot spurts of come beat his bare stomach while the majority dripped down his knuckles, Howard watched in awe. He'd never seen anything like it. 

Vince panting and spent beside him, covered in his own come mixed with Howard's name falling from his lips was enough to finish him off.

The tension in his stomach erupted into fire, his heading lolling backwards as his cock twitched in his hand. Ropes of come spurted from the tip of his cock and hit his chest.

'Fuck..' Vince breathed heavily. 'That was hot, you're quite sexy when you come.' 

'So, uh, so are you, little man,' Howard stammered, sensing the awkwardness nestling in between them. 

///

'Still convinced it's my DVD though,' Vince said once they'd both cleaned themselves off. 

'I'm not having this argument with you again, Vince. I know what's what,' Howard stated.

'Don't worry, I'll let you borrow it-'

'It's not yours to lend out, I bought it-'

'I don't think you did-' 

'Look, I'm not having this conversation again,' Howard sighed. 

A gust of wind ran through the room before the DVD slammed to the floor between the two of them, a chill fell upon Howard's neck.

Naboo's head popped out of his room.

'That's a copy, it's against shaman law but if I have to listen to you two bickering all day I'll end up doing worse and I can't have the council on my back again so keep it quiet, yeah?'


End file.
